How You Get The Girl (Canada’s Version)

Dear Reader,

Are you ready for it? Send in the white horse because I know places that Taylor Swift's the Eras Tour should visit. Please pass this petition to all Canadians who feel they have been hit by the archer to alert Taylor that she must make a change to her tour dates. This is a delicate matter and we need an 'end game' to this mad woman's illicit affairs! Please sign this petition to alarm how cruel this summer truly is due to the 1 and only Taylor Swift's blank space in Canada.

Long story short: after months of anticipation everything has changed following Taylor's recent international tour date announcement to many places in this world. So it goes, she did something bad as Canada is left in exile with no dates announced, they can't tolerate it. Nothing new for Canadians as they they jump then fall into despair. The lack of happiness grows around Canadians like ivy and they cannot see the daylight. Canadians are on the outside and will have clean cardigans since they will not be at the lakes of Ontario among the willow trees with snow on the beach singing with Ms. Swift for this tour.

Call it what you want, but many Canadians feel that the gorgeous stars treacherous and mean actions say, "you're on your own, kid" to the nation and are haunted right where she left them wondering what they would've, could've, should've done in the fall to secure tickets in the states. All of the girls felt forever winter as "I bet you think about me" rang in their ears past midnights. Other nations, particularly London Boys, feel that Canadians "need to calm down" but this pain is ours and they are the lucky ones with tour dates.

Canadians are feeling red and have many questions...? Is this karma? Are we never ever getting back together? Don't you know our reputation? Are we invisible? Should we've said no? Or did she forget that we existed? Tell me why! They wish they could go back to December in 22, when we were happy and ticket prices in the states had a state of grace, or hop in a getaway car to get to a show, which they almost do in their wildest dreams! Canadians are dancing with their hands tied and only the young can help! Don't you want to help, too?! 

Now, don't blame me because look what you made me do. As a Taylor Swift enthusiast since I was older than seven but younger than fifteen, the moment I knew I had to fight this great war and speak now was when I saw the international dates and felt like I was caught in midnight rain. Feeling sad, beautiful, tragic, I could barely breathe as I knew I was losing her! I know she is untouchable but that's when I knew I must be fearless, do some vigilante shit and send a message in a bottle to the bejeweled superstar that "babe, I'm only ME! when I'm with you!"

This is me trying to turn this glitch around like a mastermind and have Ms. Americana's eyes open to an experience that could be bigger than the whole sky for so many enchanted Canadian fans. She knows all too well that a Canada visit would be the best day, make sparks fly, and stay beautiful in our minds for evermore. The last time she visited, fans danced as though they were on holy ground in some sort of lavender haze.

Taylor, we hope this isn't how the story of us ends and our love story can prevail in person. Come back, be here! Tis the damn season to fix these champagne problems!

Long live, forever and always,

Canada 

Emily Jamieson    Contact the author of the petition