Legal basis for victims of violence mothers and your children

Because where violence takes place, we must not look away, because violence destroys trust, faith and security.


More and more cases are known in which the "affected mothers" of their children are helpless, aggressive activism of the "fathers".

Here, the "affected mothers" often not only attacked verbally, or put under "pressure", but it comes in some cases even to the extreme - the physical attack, including death threats.

Often these crimes are punished accordingly and not be so concerned mothers feel more and more as a "pawn" of our society. They learn that they and their children are not worth protecting and look at marginalized .

Article 2 of the Basic Law clearly states

Everyone has the right to free development of his personality insofar as he does not violate the rights of others and does not violate the constitutional order or the moral law.

Everyone has the right to life and physical integrity. Personal liberty is inviolable. In this right may be interfered with only pursuant to a law.

The "affected mothers' report, however, in a variety that this fundamental right, no consideration is given.

Especially when a common parental concern is, is the law of the father of the child to the actual child's welfare. Often enough, the tensile term "child welfare" equated with the inalienable right of the father to the child.

It does not matter whether the child's father, mother terrorized mentally and physically, stalking, threats pronounce. or is physically grip.

In many cases, physical violence the child father exercised prior to the child also has no effect on family law decisions.

The "fathers lobby" has made it possible for the protection of affected mothers, the atrocities of the "outside oh so" Diaphanous benevolent "fathers", was virtually nullified.

The statutory protection of mother and family seems to have no meaning.

The rights of the child alleged fathers seem to stand above all. The relevant obligations do not seem to have the same status in the approach. The mothers only get to hear the phrase, "It's my right," "It's my right", but the duties are no longer taken seriously.

Surely the child's father has a right to access to his child, but can you really require that a "child of the Father" so abused mother, this still granted at the front door or even in the home?.

The country can really resist that affected mothers shamelessly pushed to your limits; have to live in fear; have hardly any possibilities of resistance?

The custody includes the same obligations that the other must take over. Firstly, to ensure the child's welfare, on the other hand for the child to worry.

§ 1626

(1) The father and mother have the right and the duty to care for the minor child (custody). The parental authority includes the care of the person of the child (custody) and the ability of the child (assets concern).

(2) The care and education of the parents consider the growing capacity and the growing need of the child

selbständigem responsibly. Discuss with

the child, where it is displayed according to the level of development,

Questions of parental care and strive for agreement.

§ 1627

The parents who exercise parental authority in its own responsibility and mutual agreement for the benefit of the child.

In case of disagreement, they must try to find common ground.

The take most child fathers but not as accurate. You all too frequently of their right and if it is of the essence, use the custody merely as a means, in relation to the child's mother.

In many cases, the fathers friendly family law is being used to take revenge on the ex-partner.

However, this already prohibits the law, because who used the custody missbraeulich, as leverage against the other parent, or the like, may be punished with the loss of his custody rights.

Contact affected mothers for help to youth services, it is often experienced that such cases hardly takes the desired degree of.

However, the time has also changed so that even youth services to such cases take longer to hardly great.

It is their obligation to assist those seeking help is that the children and the parties are protected.

Instead, use these offices, in many cases, statements of advice-seeking mothers as a free ride, for their nasty child custody.

Can you believe this is due system? Because at the same time shoot fathers lobbies like mushrooms from the ground.

Concerned mothers, it is always made more difficult to ensure the safety and protection of their children. They are labeled as intolerant connection Umgangsverweigerinnen that the fathers deprived children, etc.

Of course, one, dropping the history and past quotes like these mothers under the table, because that is past and you deal with the present and the future in the family court system.

Many betroffende mothers have the impression that independent action with accusations and threats associated.

The biggest pressure is the fact that the system does not even hesitate shrinks to threaten withdrawal of the child, often all means are acceptable.

What this does to a mother, you can think of.

So once wrote a child's father

"I know what I need to do so you need to psychiatry" and more "I'll see to it that the child no longer lives with you and bring you to a mental hospital"

Sometimes even acquaintances, where the individual is on hold by the fathers in their psychological terror are covered with a.

"Let Mrs. X from your apartment and you get no stress with me" or "I'll spoil you Christmas", "Since your Fr.X not let your apartment, you will get to feel the consequences of this for it; let's get out there and you get no stress "" I'll see to it that eludes Fr.X the child "

Calls with death threats, stalking, trespass. Everything not uncommon.

The bad thing about this whole thing, though, is that the family law system

Mothers destabilized. It tramples partially years around on them. This comes under the circumstances, the removal of the child-industry best.

Flags edged Systhemmaschinerie, such situations even exploits.

What martyrdom must have a mother behind, despite the infant / toddler / child separates and it may need to put their financial security at risk, is sheared under the table.

.What Separates mother, for example, during pregnancy unless there are serious reasons?

Often the family court evidence that speak in favor of mother and child, shamelessly disregarded. Instead, it is often found that, on struggling mothers will only further "eingetrampelt" by an official.

It is a systematic damage to the mothers, which is part of a country that is one of the richest democracies in the world, tolerated ..

The authorities act probably due to the aggressive activism Väterlobbyfür the common sense not to understand regarding the treatment of violent or otherwise terrorizing fathers.

Mothers and children are forced by law and office again and again in the arms of criminal child fathers.


What this means mental stress for the mother and child, one can only guess.


The law is, among other things, that everyone has to refrain from anything that could harm or have a negative influence binding to the other parent.

This also means that the betreffenen mothers are forced to communicate with a terrorizing father and again to find the contact.

Evil is as well that even stalking laws and force protection for women will no longer apply to a sufficient degree, when they are mother.


For children no protection against violence exists, because the child must also be passed in existing precincts for handling outside the front door.

In addition, children are forced to deal, partly goes with heartbreaking scenes of equip.

Often also "encouraged" to agree to a settlement in which one undertakes to contact the stalkenden or violent Vatern for childhood things.

The protection of mothers and their children, born here in no way account.

A comparison at issues such as terrorism, emotional or physical violence really appropriate?

This makes it many a criminal child's father just about the only basis for discussion at the child to be interested, continue to plague the mother and thus continue to harm her and the children.

Mothers so often find no more venues, to put an end to this madness.

It is urged by many experts that the Violence Protection Act must not mutate into a 2 Classes law.

Childless women are wonderfully protected here in Germany, mothers with their children then unfortunately not going.

This must, however, urgently and immediately change here.

Fathers are detrimental not only to mothers but to forcibly also the child.

It is required to have by adapting the legislation that affected mothers are finally no longer at the mercy of fathers child and a right to self-determined life!

The mothers affected are over months and years so worn down by the actions and unfortunately too often accepted lies and distortions of the facts to reach from the fathers, whose aim is intentionally ego thus probably do YOUR goal on without awareness and sensitivity your child that they give in to the pressure against the child's best interests.

Many mothers are traumatized by years of family law prosecution for the rest of their lives, live in fear and have difficulty sleeping or are physically sick.

So it can not stay - what you can to mothers and children still do everything?.

The rights of mothers, must finally be strengthened by law and laws Tech. Violence must be seen in all dimensions equal to.

The fathers who place such behavior demonstrated in the day, have no right to rely on fathers laws that were then brought to life by a father from very different circumstances forth.

You have to be changed from, so that misuse can not come to bear and the affected mothers are back to this site.

Experience shows that when fathers use these laws as a free pass, they will seek, not nearly to a change in your behavior. They are not looking for advice centers and do not enter into a peaceful solution in the sense of their children.

The fathers who place such destructive behavior demonstrated in the day, you should withdraw the right to care and handling by law, since they just add to the child willfully damage ..

Contact with the child should only be granted if the father has demonstrably changed.

Only in this way, we can reach a protection of the betroffenden mothers against the arbitrary will meet.

Likewise, the offices must be held accountable to the families and children agree, but look away, do not help and provoke damage thereby.

We mothers are not breeding machines, which can be leveled to ground emotionally cruel to then use a child abduction can lobby.

Mothers need to get in Germany're viewing what they deserve and do not get the stain madness of fathers lobby from fundamentally challenge the evil mothers in the pillory, although there that fathers are in most cases, the high injustice and violation of human rights commit.

It is, therefore, called on behalf of all affected mothers to finally take an approximation of the laws before and to provide a legal basis to ensure the protection of affected mothers and their children, and families.


Germany must stand up for his children affected by violence mothers and families at last.



Because where violence takes place, we must not look away, because violence destroys trust, faith and security.



Gez. S. Schäfer



Ten major criticisms that were identified at the conference "Violence Protection contra child's welfare" in Hanover on 25.06.2008:




- According to a ruling by the BVerfGs a father should not be forced to deal with his child.

- The child is compelled to maintain contact with his father and the mother is forced to allow the handling of the father with the children.


- If children do not want any contact with the father, the mother of manipulation is assumed.

- From the mother is expected that they will override the will of the child, manipulates, with the aim that dealing with the Father comes about.

parenting skills

- Parent Alienation Syndrome In particular, the assumed parenting skills with the Father.

- Through the experience of violence of the mother whose parenting skills is considered to be limited.

- Loses Rowdy father / has no parenting skills.

Dealing with the Past

- Back-lying and even current behavior is ignored (violence, substance abuse problems, Absence, non-Keeping appointments).

- It will be all set to future behavior; one dealing with the past is not - contrary (depth-) psychological theory and methods - sought.


- There are spared no expense when it comes to enforcing the father against the mother's visiting rights with the child (In some cases, children were sent away from the nut in an expensive home.)

- Centre for Child and Youth Services, which would be necessary also to protect and care for the children will be truncated.

victim status

- On the question of the right of the woman loses her victim status, even if they are not willing to compromise, demanding, bitter or irrational behavior, it becomes evil.

- On the other hand, the man is the victim in this case, the support against the "all-powerful, omnipotent mother" is granted (to play the militant fathers' organizations).

Task of the police

- The police hands over the child to the father against the wishes of the child.

- The police protect mother and child is not at the handover. Force protection for the mother and visitation rights of the father confront each diametrically opposed, the contradiction between a proximity ban for the mother and the "transfer arrangements" are often not recognized by the court.

child welfare

- The state decides what the best interests of the child.

- The will of the child plays, despite all the political discussions about increasing the rights of the child not matter. He is considered per se "manipulated" than by the mother.


- Nonviolent Education is prescribed by law.

- Use of force to compel the handling is provided in the interests of the child by law.


10 years Violence Protection Act (Full article see link)


10 years Children Rights Improvement Act

in Germany




rights of access

A woman looking through the separation of abusers and protection order

the GewSchG protects against further violence, finds himself immediately in the rule with the

Question of the right of face when she shared with the offender Children


A contact ban after GewSchG may not be practical without a concomitant

Question of a policy be made because the abuser usually always "Qualifying reasons" has to break the prohibition of contact to eg demand or zuorganisieren handling.

In reality also call abusive partners, fathers, especially in the

Separation phase her visitation rights also vehemently. This gives them often serves as a vehicle to

To gain access to the family and to exercise control over the partner so on.

There is the risk that patterns of violence


even after separation from the abuser


be rolled over.


This problem is amplified by the anchored in FamFG speed which (including handling procedures) is especially true for childhood things, but paradoxerweisenicht on procedures in force protection matters or to the maintenance


70% of women and 58% of children are again according to a study by the BMFSFJ 2002 during handling or transfer misshandelt.Leider are also killing offenses in Germany to complain in connection with the exercise of custody


(UN Special Rapporteur on violence against women


R. Manjoo 2012

© Prof. Dr. S. Nothhafft; S.Stotz: Round table against male violence in München.2012



Nebulization of the perceptions of violence and psychological terror

Why is it so difficult to impossible in Germany, children from hazards


be protected by their fathers? Why do we see here a collective nebulization


of perception and paralysis of the ability in the actual interest


to deal with children? This nebulization we know from research on


Abusers and their perpetrators strategies (see, Holy, 2000), how could it happen,


that this strategy so expanded that a thematization of Abuse


is no longer possible, children even after separation no longer before accessing the


Offenders can be protected? If the real engine for in this group


Enforcement of the Child Law of 1998 and the hostile to children practice?


That there are not a few fathers abusing women and / or children sexually


abuse, is levied annually statistically. Known, is still valid that


approximately 45,000 women with children fleeing year before their partners in women's shelters,


probably just as many seek refuge in hostels or friends /


Acquaintances and a further number remains in the violent situation. around 140


000 reports of violence against women are paid annually (see. The annual


PKS: Police crime statistics). Approximately 16,000 complaints of sexual abuse


be reimbursed annually (see FIG. ibid.). It is a commonplace that the number of unreported


of sexual abuse within the family is highest. there is


Thus, a considerable number against women and children violent men, including


some fathers who after a separation, the right to access to the child


or even the hubby. They are violent, power and control


exercise and feel strongly about the degradation of woman and child -


since the mid-80s, the corresponding results of research on male violence


vor3 against women. This behavior of the offender structure does not change


with the separation, especially not if the woman has ended the relationship. such


3 Very well worked up, and for example, in the training folder for police, edited


Men offers the existing custody and access opportunity, power, and


Control continues to maintain women's life hell to


make as threatening and implement quite a few. That children, witnessing


be damaged by their mother's violence almost equally


as developed by even experienced violence, similar fears and symptoms,


has now been widely shown in the literature (see, Kindler in Saint /


Hack 2008), but in practice those institutions that have to do with whorls


have this knowledge does not seem to exist. Fear of a child before the Father


is rarely taken seriously, it is absurd statement in the report, a


Child love his father always, otherwise it is influenced by the mother against him.


Incomprehensible is the incompatibility on one side of the grown


Awareness in politics by the so called high extent. Domestic violence that yes


mostly male violence against women (and children) is, among other things, with the results:


Action Plan to combat violence against women, Violence Protection Act, adoption of the Law


about violent upbringing and currently the Children's Rights Improvement Act


and on the other side of the access and custody whose practice


not a few children who have experienced violence in buying takes to another law


enforce: a father's right to his child. A patriarchal setting


has created space again in the law and practice of custody and access.


Historically, women have only a very short period of rights


the progeny born children. The wide protest in the 80s and 90s


against a re-anchoring father was right by the Children's Law Reform


1998 suddenly deprived of the soil. Many mothers then welcomed the


Introduction of joint parental custody as a rule, in the hope of the fathers


would now take more responsibility for the children. This hope filled


itself, only the payment behavior of the child support was not increased slightly,


the care of children remained essentially as before the reform in the


Mothers, but with limited rights, and often with massive problems in


addressing the ex-partner. The return of paternal rights was considered


based on the contact with the father serves in any case the child's welfare. this


Definition of child well beyond any other criteria that the interests,


Affect the safety and integrity of children shows them to be ideologically,


that is, that other interests are involved as the focus on children.


Resistance is announced against this ideological position in numerous


Judgments, opinions and statements of youth services, handling attendants


and procedures nurses stereotyped place: the central criterion


for the welfare of the child is the father Contact - regardless of the exercise of


Violence and sexual abuse, personality disorders of the Father in multiple


Manifestations and independent of the will and a detectable


Endangering a child.


We can not and must not be! Contact may be, of course, at risk to the child


be limited and excluded. Therefore, it is up to


Use protection of children affected at all institutional levels. There are




sufficiently substantiated judgments (cf., Saint / Hack 2008).